"So what becomes of you my love/
when they have finally stripped you of/
the handbags and the gladrags/
that your grandad had to sweat/
so you could buy."
– The Office (UK)

facepalm.

1: Hi, are you free?

2: No, I'm expensive.

"

There are moments in your life where it seems like everything is falling apart; that the house of cards has finally been swept off by a short gust of wind. You’ll be struck… devastated by sadness.

But, never forget in those moments that what is meant to be, will be. Just then - happiness won’t seem such a foreign emotion. Revel.

"

A Britisher Quoting Forrest Gump

So I’m running sprinting to a class I was supposed to be in a minute ago and I hear a group of British school boys yelling at me in their posh accents: “RUN FORREST RUN.” Some things never change. 

"You will find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London."
– Dr. Johnson

Kick ‘em while they’re down.

So I walked into the Citibank at Union Square today and there was a bunch of press cameras and executives just walking around drinking and socializing. I get through this huge crowd to the teller and ask her what’s going on:

Teller: Oh today’s the grand opening of this bank, the press is here to cover it.

(Meanwhile, the bank manager is hovering behind me)

Me: Oh, sweet.

Teller: So how can I help you today, sir?

Me: Haha, well I need to close my account.

Man, she was pissed.